Better Days

This is sort of an apology to my own guild as well as an update on my druid on Durotan.

First of all, let me start with the apology because that's the most important part to me. To everyone in Ascendants, I'm sorry that I couldn't lead the guild better. I'm sorry that we never got things moving and I'm sorry that our journey together is coming to an end. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do related to the game is leave the very guild I helped bring into existence.

I hope that everyone understands why I made the decision I made. Like everyone else with any level 80 toon, I've put a lot of time and effort into getting there and getting geared. I worked really hard to learn how to heal, since I've always been a tank and healing was so new to me when we got Dual Specs. I've really invested a considerable amount of time working at trying to be a better druid and player overall. It was frustrating to have spent the time and effort on my most beloved druid only to have her watching everyone else raiding and enjoying the game...

It was so frustrating to schedule raids and have 2 or 3 people show up, even though 12 people had signed up to join us. I understand that RL is far more important than WoW...but we were supposed to be a team. It's hard to win the game if only 4 of 10 team members are showing up. Rather than disappoint the few people that did show up and were participating - we would spend the next hour in trade and recruiting channels trying to find what we needed in order to fill up our raid so we could go. And we all know how PuG raids are...if you're lucky you get a solid group of people together but they don't tolerate wiping very well...and if a few leave after you've taken down a boss or two...well...game over for the rest of us.

I can't even tell you how many times I logged out of the game in tears. It sounds stupid to you all, I'm sure, but I'll explain a little deeper.

I give guild leaders and officers a lot of credit, especially now that I've seen what it's like. I doubt I'll ever want to start another guild of my own. I think if that ever becomes my ONLY option, I'll just uninstall and play Mario. I'm not a good leader. I don't even pretend to be. Being a guild leader became a full time job and there was constant, intense pressure to "make the guild better"...it ruined the game for me for the longest time....

You spend endless hours recruiting. Just when you think you finally have enough people for a 10 man raid...you find out that 3 of them left yesterday because they found something better. The others that you recruited still need to get geared up - so you start working on helping them get geared while you're recruiting to replace the three that left. By the time you get your semi-new folks geared, you realize that the new recruits need to be geared a little better and lo and behold, the original players leave the guild to join something "better". This cycle was endless and it got to be so frustrating that I just refused to participate in it anymore. It was completely ruining my ability to enjoy this game.

Realizing that I just couldn't put the guild together on my own, I asked guild members if they would want to be officers. No one was interested, it seemed. I struggled to find people who were willing to take on any part of the responsibility. We eventually found people who were willing to be officers...but after a few failed runs...they, too, left our team and we were back to square one. Some of our folks were willing to take on the title of "officer", but weren't willing to really take on the responsibilities. In great detail, I outlined exactly what we NEEDED from our officers.

The response I got when I started pushing our officers to do more to help blew my mind completely:
"Being an officer is ruining my enjoyment of the game."

Yeah? Well...*smacks head on desk a few times*

Anyway, the moral of the story is that running a guild is a TEAM effort. If there isn't a team supporting one another in trying to establish and build the guild...it fails.

When we originally formed Ascendants, my husband was working nights during the week and I was left on my own all week trying to figure out exactly what I was supposed to do in order to try to make things better for us all. I scoured every article I could find on how to run a guild successfully. I asked all of my WoW friends for help...I took every piece of advice and tried to apply it to our guild. I was either met with huge amounts of resistance or the change got ignored. The last ditch effort was to create "Raid" and "Raid Leader" ranks. We advised that the ranks were out there and that the criteria for promotion was: Show up on time, carry your weight in the raid, no drama. That's it! We had a pretty big sign up for that first raid, maybe 2 or 3 people actually showed up for it...It was at this point that I think I gave up completely.

I had invested a lot of time and sanity into trying to turn things around. Nothing was working. Not only that...but we ended up with so much drama...We had raid leaders treating other guild members like trash because of gear/performance, people leaving the guild because of how they were treated, or that they don't like this person or that person, people constantly complaining at me about even the most trivial of things...it turned into a very bitter mess...

I stopped playing most of my characters on Durotan and retreated to Crushridge to spend time leveling my Tauren druid.

And then...

I got to thinking...

I've already invested this much time in my main. She's level 80, dual spec, decently geared (by NO means amazingly geared, but we're getting there)...

Why should I abandon her JUST because things aren't changing in my guild?

I talked with my husband about possibly leaving the guild we formed together to find something new...something better...something that didn't drain me of every last ounce of my sanity...I wasn't too surprised to learn that he was in the same boat as I was. He stopped enjoying the game when he would come home and find me in tears because our own guild members couldn't get along, or this one got upset by something that one said and left...or because I got stuck trying to lead a raid and got pestered constantly with people second-guessing every decision and strategy I suggested we try...or because we had wiped for the 20th time on a boss that shouldn't have been difficult JUST because people refused to do what was asked of them...

He was ready to quit the game because of how stressful it had become.

So was I.

But...

Yesterday I started looking around the realm forums and found a few guilds recruiting for healers and such. I'm sort of a "special case" when it comes to raiding. Yes, I want to be successful at raiding, but I haven't got a whole lot of experience, especially in the new content...Icecrown Citadel. I tend to be rather shy and soft-skinned...meaning I don't think I would survive in a "hardcore" raid guild. I got a little discouraged as I was checking each of the recruiting guilds' sites...most of them seemed much too hardcore or their raid schedules wouldn't work for me...

And then I saw that CoE was recruiting for healers. I hopped over to their site and checked them out and fell in love. They seem like the perfect guild for a person like me. Established, active, and fun-loving! I nervously submitted an application and waited for a reply.

Within maybe an hour I had gotten a reply to meet up with one of the officers in-game to set up a "trial run" and get to know them a little better.

Well, with the exception of letting the mage die (And I'm still REALLY sorry about that Es...like... you have no idea...), everything went well and I got invited to join their guild. I adore them already! I wish I had thought to apply to their guild before we had formed Ascendants. It's sad, but it's true. They welcomed my druid and Balz's druid in with open arms. I think the best part is that I don't have to deal with the miserable pressure to try and "fix" a guild. I can finally just relax and enjoy the game. I can't tell you how happy I am right now!

To everyone in Ascendants, I tried so hard to get things going and my efforts seemed to be in vain. It is time for my druid to move on so that I can experience more of the raid content and get back to enjoying the game. My alts still call Ascendants their home, and they will until Balz says otherwise. I will still play my alts (I'm addicted to PvP on my warlock) and I will make myself available to help you guys out whenever I can. I just needed a break from the stagnancy. I still adore you all!

(Yes, I know some of you hate Balz and me for our decision, but we all pay to play and we all deserve to enjoy the game, right?)

OH! And before I forget!!!

Thanks to a really amazing PuG raid group, I FINALLY got my Malygos kill!!!

Finally! Went into Maly 10 yesterday and we were SO close on the first 2 attempts...we got him on try #3! So exciting!

Now I have an obnoxiously long Name, Title to annoy everyone with!

. Destinae
{Champion of the Frozen Wastes}

I'll post a pic or screen shot when I can...I forgot to send the SS to myself *_*

haha WOOT! So thank you Yoka for the invite and for having an amazing raid group! Grats to everyone who got their first Maly kill in that raid as well!